Early Fatherhood

Last Gasp of Breath (1983)

YouTube demo

With my last gasp of breath I breathed a word that she barely heard

Over my laughter echoing ever after in her mind

With the grace, face and touch of an angel in danger

Trying to find me trying to hide me in her heart

With her backpack and pencils the paper chase is her saving grace

Searching for knowledge but why in a college

When it's here it's everywhere

Don't ever think that I don't care

Right when you least expect it

That's when you're well protected heart gets torn apart

I phone home to ask if we'll ever be in heavenly

Love lifting us a gift to us from above

Love is here it's everywhere

Don't ever think that I don't care

Right when you least expect it

That's when you're well protected heart gets torn apart

Daddy's Little Girl (1988)

I met a little girl, first morning of the spring

Her hair was all in curls, her cheekies made me sing

I love her, I love her, love her with my life

I made her, I made her, made her with my wife

Mauri, daddy's little girl, daddy's little girl

I miss her every day, I kiss her every night

When things don't go my way, she makes them turn out right

She gives me, she gives me, everything I need

She's with me, she's with me, everytime I breathe

Mauri, daddy's little girl, daddy's little girl

She runs around the house, she runs us out of bed

She's quiet as a mouse, until she bumps her head

It's all right, it's all right, dad will make it well

There's no need to cry you're daddy's little girl

Mauri, daddy's little girl, daddy's little girl

Mauri, changing every day

We May Sustain (1992)

Tempered by our circumstance

Ignited by the slightest glance

This emotion burns alone

Searching for the words to say

To put it in the plainest way

I endeavor on my own

I pray that we may sustain

Through the wind, the sun, and even the rain

Like a wave that crashes over the shore

We will crest and gather and do it once more

Forever, and ever more

Never one to keep inside

Feelings that I couldn't hide

I implore the mirror how

I could make her understand

Complexities within this plan

I can almost hear her now

I pray that we may sustain

Through the wind, the sun, and even the rain

Though the storm envelopes a turbulent sea

Let a lull develop between you and me

Forever, and ever more

I Believe it's True (1996)

Tell me why each hour

Passes like a minute

I haven’t known such power

And now that I’m within it

I believe it’s true

Now that I’ve found you

I believe it’s true

Now that I’ve found you

You’re calling me a prince

You’re calling me a poet

Without you I’m convinced

I wouldn’t even know it

I believe it’s true

Now that I’ve found you

I believe it’s true

Now that I’ve found you

Waiting for the place

Waiting for the moment

When I see your face

I can’t resist the notion

I believe it’s true

I’m in love with you

I believe it’s true

I’m in love with you

The Truth (1998)

YouTube demo

Fresh out of school

Nothing to do

No one to sympathize with

Mommy’s not home

We’re all alone

Won’t you come in my office?

I’ll hold all my calls

These are thick walls

There won’t be no penetration

Whatever you heard

Don’t breathe a word

About the truth, the whole truth,

Nothing ‘bout the truth, the whole truth

You can’t tell the truth, the whole truth,

Nothing ‘bout the truth, the whole truth

It’s in the news

But I’ll never lose

Get my attorneys in here

Give me a line

Just one more time

I need my version out there

This public will buy

Most any lie

There won’t be no resignation

The story must sell

Cause I’ll never tell

About the truth, the whole truth,

Nothing ‘bout the truth, the whole truth

I can’t tell the truth, the whole truth,

Nothing ‘bout the truth, the whole truth

From way up high

His scornful eye

Watches this seedy process

There’ll come a day

Not far away

When He will burst upon us

Shining His light

Perfect and bright

Over this captive nation

Though you may try

You’ll never hide

From His truth, His whole truth

You can’t hide the truth, the whole truth,

Nothing from His truth, His whole truth,

You can’t hide the truth, the whole truth

We want the truth, the whole truth

Nothing but the truth

We want the truth, the whole truth

Nothing but the truth

We want the truth, the whole truth

Nothing but the truth

We want the truth, the whole truth

Nothing but the truth, the whole truth

Rainbow (1998)

I walk alone the skies are grey

The clouds won't seem to go away

A bit of drizzle in the air

Then the sun pops into view

Red orange yellow green and blue

I see a rainbow shining through

And I thank God for this second chance

This opportunity for true romance

And I thank you with all my heart

Without you honey I'd be torn apart

Of all the sights that I have seen

And all the cities I have been

There is a place I never leave

A place where I am never harmed

And danger quenched without alarm

I'm coming back into your arms

And I thank God for this second chance

This opportunity for true romance

And I thank you with all my heart

Without you honey I'd be torn apart

With fallen leaders in the mud

The gutters filling with their blood

It is with certainty that I conclude

That the race is nearly done

The scattered harvest becomes one

A golden wreath around the sun

And I thank God for this second chance

This opportunity for true romance

And I thank you with all my heart

Without you honey I'd be torn apart

And I thank God for this second chance

This opportunity for true romance

And I thank you with all my heart

Without you honey I'd be torn apart

Commentary

After toying with the possibility of an early career in academia, I accepted a job offer from Shell to join their agricultural unit (later sold to DuPont), based in Modesto, CA. The first song in this collection, Last Gasp on Breath, was written during those first few days away from my beloved Seattle. But change was coming quickly, as I found myself engaged to my first wife within around a month, Sima. Just to further confuse my family on all matters religious, she was Jewish!

Sima had grown up in St. Louis so we were married there and moved there at her suggestion only a year later. Both of our children, Mauri (Daddy's Little Girl) and Drew, were born there and those years were filled with the duties of fatherhood and being a new scientist at Monsanto. So this was by far the least prolific of all my song-writing years. And very unfortunately, just as my Grandmother Rita had foretold (see the commentary for “A New Name”), marital difficulties emerged for us and we were divorced in 1995 after 11 years of marriage. It was shortly after this that I met Karen, who had also recently divorced, and our new relationship became the inspiration for a couple of these songs (I Believe It’s True and Rainbow).

But the oddest song in this selection is a “singularity” among my entire body of work, The Truth. Inspired in February 1998 by the notorious Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, I ended up taking my hobby “up a notch” by producing a proper recording and even recruiting someone to create a silly cartoon music video synched to the song. This was the early days of the Internet and Amazon, through which I arranged to sell VHS videos – virtually all of which were subsequently returned to me unsold. This truly was a crazy endeavor! But it was a fun distraction for a time.

Early Fatherhood

Last Gasp of Breath (1983)

Daddy's Little Girl (1988)

We May Sustain (1992)

I Believe it's True (1996)

The Truth (1998)

Rainbow (1998)

Commentary

Downloads